Playwright
The Source Material
The Adaptation
I could not help seeing that Lilian was not nearly so much impressed by my elaborate concern as her relatives; and sometimes I detected an incredulous look in her frank brown eyes that made me very uneasy. Little by little, a rift widened between us, until at last in despair I determined to know the worst before the time came when it would be hopeless to speak at all. I chose a Sunday evening as we were walking across the green from church in the golden dusk, and then I ventured to speak to her of my love. She heard me to the end, and was evidently very much agitated. At last she murmured that it could not be, unless—no, it never could be now.
'Unless what?' I asked. 'Lilian—Miss Roseblade, something has come between us lately: you will tell me what that something is, won't you?'
'Do you want to know really?' she said, looking up at me through her tears. 'Then I'll tell you: it—it's Bingo!'
I started back overwhelmed. Did she know all? If not, how much did she suspect? I must find out that at once! 'What about Bingo?' I managed to pronounce, with a dry tongue.
'You never l-loved him when he was here,' she sobbed; 'you know you didn't!'
I was relieved to find it was no worse than this.
'No,' I said candidly; 'I did not love Bingo. Bingo didn't love me, Lilian; he was always looking out for a chance of nipping me somewhere. Surely you won't quarrel with me for that!'
'Not for that,' she said; 'only, why do you pretend to be so fond of him now, and so anxious to get him back again? Uncle John believes you, but I don't. I can see quite well that you wouldn't be glad to find him. You could find him easily if you wanted to!'
'What do you mean, Lilian?' I said hoarsely. 'How could I find him?' Again I feared the worst.
ALGERNON
Have I done something to offend you?
LILLIAN
…
ALGERNON
Before this whole Bingo debauchery, you seemed quite fond of me.
LILLIAN
That was before.
ALGERNON
But-
LILLIAN
This is now!
ALGERNON
What changed?
LILLIAN
What do you think?
ALGERNON
Nothing…. Between us, nothing -
LILLIAN
Between us everything!
ALGERNON
Darling -
LILLIAN
Don’t call me that.
ALGERNON
Illuminate me.
LILLIAN
No.
ALGERNON
Please.
(BEAT)
ALGERNON
Alright then… I suppose I’ll take my leave.
(ALGERNON turns to go. He’s almost out the door when -)
LILLIAN
Do you want to know?
ALGERNON
Yes!
LILLIAN
Do you really want to know?
ALGERNON
Yes!
LILLIAN
Fine. Then I’ll tell you - It’s Bingo!
ALGERNON
Bingo?
LILIAN
Yes! B-I-N-G-O!
ALGERNON
But Bingo has nothing to do with us!
LILIAN
You’ve been acting odd ever since he went missing.
ALGERNON
Odd? I’m not acting odd. Are you kidding me? Odd? What reason do I have to act odd about Bingo?
LILIAN
If you don’t know then I’m not going to be the one to tell you….
(BEAT. ALGERNON takes a DEEP BREATH and prepares for the confession of his life -)
ALGERNON
Okay…. Alright… I didn’t know how to tell you this before but –
LILIAN
You never loved him!
ALGERNON
What?
LILIAN
I know what you’re going to say. You never loved him.
ALGERNON
I -
LILIAN
And now all of a sudden you do!
ALGERNON
Oh…. is that all it is?
LILIAN
IT. IS. The paramount divide! - Just admit it!
ALGERNON
I-
LILIAN
You never loved Bingo.
ALGERNON
I-
LILIAN
Be honest for once Mr. Weatherhead! Because I could never be with someone who isn’t honest!
LILIAN
Say it. “I never loved Bingo.” Go on.
ALGERNON
I-
LILIAN
Go on – “I” -
LILIAN ALGERNON
"I never love Bingo.” I never loved Bingo.
LILIAN
Ah ha! There! Now we have it.
ALGERNON
What does that prove?
LILIAN
That you’ve been acting phony when in sooth you’re all too overjoyed about his disappearance.
ALGERNON
It’s not that I didn’t love Bingo. It’s he that didn’t love me.
LILIAN
He could feel your distain!
ALGERNON
He was always trying to get at me, stalk, and nip at-
LILIAN
He was being friendly!
ALGERNON
That’s not friendly!
LILIAN
It is!
ALGERNON
If biting my bum bum is friendly - I’ve got an entire dictionary to recalibrate.
LILIAN
It’s clear you don’t want him back – and knowing that – beneath all your false pretense – well, it’s been more than enough to turn the sweet milk of my affection for you sour.